45 Chinese Pet Names for Lovers (With Pinyin): From 宝贝 to 老公 — What They Really Signal

The fastest way to make your Chinese partner cringe

If you call someone 老公 (lǎogōng) or 老婆 (lǎopó) too early, it doesn’t sound “extra romantic” — it can sound like you just promoted them to spouse without consent, and that pressure lands hard. I don’t recommend using spouse-coded titles until you’ve had at least 1 explicit “we’re serious” talk, because the consequence is awkward silence, not cute vibes.

Copy/paste first: 45 internet-style couple nicknames (with pinyin + who says it)

These are the ones that show up constantly in texting and contact names, but I reject a bunch of them for spoken, real-life use because they can sound childish or “customer-service flirty.” Treat this as a menu: pick 1–2, test them privately, and drop anything that gets a weird pause back.

Here’s the catch: a nickname that works in chat can sound ridiculous out loud, so I treat “text-only” as a real category, not a footnote. If you want one that rarely backfires, start with 1 neutral option (宝贝 bǎobèi / 对象 duìxiàng / 我的那位 wǒ de nà wèi) and avoid roleplay-coded ones until they introduce them first.

What these nicknames signal to native speakers (not the dictionary meaning)

I reject “literal translation thinking” because Chinese pet names are more about relationship posture than vocabulary, and the consequence is sounding like you copied a drama script. In real use, the same word can be sweet in private and cringe in public, so you need a setting filter, not just a word list.

• Neutral intimacy (low risk): 宝贝 bǎobèi, 对象 duìxiàng, 我的那位 wǒ de nà wèi
• Baby-talk intimacy (high privacy): 宝宝 bǎobǎo, 抱抱 bàobào, 崽崽 zǎizǎi
• Teasing affection (tone-dependent): 笨蛋 bèndàn, 傻瓜 shǎguā, 憨憨 hānhān
• Roleplay / performance (ask first): 哥哥 gēge, 老婆大人 lǎopó dàrén, 夫君 fūjūn
• Public-safe “official” labels (not cute): 男朋友 nán péngyou, 女朋友 nǚ péngyou

If your partner is the “don’t be cringe” type, I avoid baby-talk categories entirely because the consequence is them feeling like you’re talking to a child. If your partner is openly cute in Chinese already, then 1–2 baby-talk terms can work, but only in private.

Commitment-coded titles: sweet for spouses, pushy for new couples

I don’t recommend spouse-coded titles as “flirting,” because in Mandarin they often sound like a claim, not a compliment, and the consequence is instant awkwardness. If you want commitment language, choose a softer step first (亲爱的 qīn’ài de or 我家那位 wǒjiā nà wèi) before you jump to “husband/wife.”

Ancient / period-drama terms: what they meant, and why they’re risky now

These words are real, but I reject them as “default romantic” because most modern listeners hear cosplay, not intimacy, and the consequence is you sounding like you’re acting. They only work if both of you are intentionally playing a historical/fiction vibe, and you keep it private.

If you still want an “ancient” flavor with lower risk, use exactly 1 term in a clearly playful moment and drop it if they don’t mirror it back within 2 tries. If they laugh but don’t reuse it, that’s your answer, and pushing it makes you sound stubborn, not romantic.

Age and setting matter more than the word (20s vs 30s vs 50+)

I don’t recommend choosing a nickname without an age/setting check, because the consequence is sounding either childish or oddly formal. Think of it as 3 buckets: “cute-private,” “neutral-everywhere,” and “public-safe but not cute.”

• 20s dating: 宝贝 bǎobèi and 小可爱 xiǎo kě’ài are safer than 老公 lǎogōng, because early commitment talk can feel heavy.
• 30s dating: 我的那位 wǒ de nà wèi and 亲爱的 qīn’ài de often land better than 宝宝 bǎobǎo, which can feel too babyish.
• 50+ long-term: 老伴 lǎobàn is normal and warm, but using it in your 20s makes you sound like you’re joking about marriage or age.
• Public / around family: 对象 duìxiàng or 男/女朋友 are clearer, because “猪猪 zhūzhū” can embarrass people fast.

Foreigners (and overseas Chinese) mess these up a lot: 7 “don’t do this” rules

I actively filter these out because they cause the most misunderstanding, and the consequence is you sounding like you don’t understand relationship boundaries. If you only remember 7 things, make it these.

1. Don’t open with 亲 (qīn). It’s widely used in commerce, so it can sound like you’re doing a sales script, not intimacy.
2. Don’t use 老公/老婆 as “cute flirting” on week 1. It can read like a claim, and people will pull back.
3. Don’t assume pig nicknames are safe. 猪猪 (zhūzhū) can be affectionate, but for some people it hits body-image nerves and becomes an insult.
4. Don’t use 哥哥/妹妹 unless you know the vibe. It can signal roleplay, age-gap flirting, or internet culture, which some adults hate.
5. Don’t address your partner as 内人/外子. Those are traditionally “about my spouse” to a third party, so saying it to their face sounds off.
6. Don’t copy historical words for “authenticity.” 相公/官人/夫君 usually sound like TV dialogue, and the cringe is immediate if your accent isn’t strong.
7. Don’t pick a nickname you can’t say smoothly. Bad tones make even a normal word sound unnatural, and people notice within 1 sentence.

A practical 5-question checklist (use this, not vibes)

I use these 5 checks because they prevent the most common mistakes, and the consequence of skipping them is choosing a nickname that only works in fiction. Answer them honestly and you’ll land on something that feels normal.

1. Is this “text-only”? If yes (么么哒 / 啵啵), I keep it out of real speech.
2. Does it imply marriage? If yes (老公/老婆/媳妇儿), I wait until commitment is explicit.
3. Could it sound like customer service? If yes (亲 / 宝贝 in some contexts), I use it only if your partner already uses it with you.
4. Is it teasing? If yes (笨蛋/傻瓜/猪猪), I only use it after I’ve seen them joke the same way.
5. Would you say it in front of their friends? If no, keep it private, because public embarrassment kills affection fast.

One-sentence rule

Pick a nickname that matches your relationship stage, then cut anything that sounds like roleplay or pressure — because “cute” that triggers cringe isn’t cute, it’s friction.